Good Morning. Coffee’s on…

It’s rough. I listen to The Guys at work talking about it all the time. Drink, drink, drink. One of The Guys even has a little one on the way; he blew $300 over a weekend, and then contemplated spending his remaining cash (which was for energy bills) at the bar.

Was this ever me? Minus the plus-one, unfortunately it was. And now? Well, let’s just say I take every chance to remind The Guys that what they’re doing has consequences. It doesn’t appear to help them, but I have realized that it helps to remind me that I need to remain sober and stay on track. It’s about health and staying out of legal and financial trouble, sure; however, it can be about good will. It can be about being an ally for someone who may be using for all the wrong reasons (what are the right ones?). A celebratory champagne is one thing, but The Guys abuse alcohol and consistently have stories that are scary, and downright stupid. I’m appalled I wore those shoes. Am I old? Wise? Tired? Maybe. But my my conscious is clear, the bills are paid,  and I haven’t missed a day of work in a year.

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One response to “Good Morning. Coffee’s on…

  1. Fellow Tude

    I hear you in this post loud and clear. I am constantly thinking about what I’ve done. I know I’m no where near the worst person in this category, but I wore those shoes for a long, long time and I wore them quite well. There are parts of me that is ashamed, wishing he could get the years back. There are parts of me who just proud I make a difference now. Its a big struggle I deal with currently.

    Someone asked me a while back, “well, now that your sober for a while, whats your feelings on drinking”. Its a question that stopped me in my tracks. I could probably teach a class with the information I have but I could not bring myself to a stable conclusion. You’ll understand what I mean if you get there.

    I spent over a month already pondering the question on a daily basis. It became my new means for a daily goal to achieve. I pray nightly for the strength to get me through another day of sobriety, but now my focus has shifted. I spend my time and thought power on resolving my feelings toward the issue.

    I think a critical part of the healing process you will experience in long term recovery is time spent in self reflection. I am still going through this process and do not have an answer for my question. I don’t think self refection ever ends, but just switches topics from time to time. I am not confident there is an answer to this question. I am however confident in my ability to succeed without.

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